The end of Day 1...it wasn't as bad as I was expecting! I only had a slight headache by dinner time and I was a little sluggish but definitely not as bad as I thought I would be. I think tomorrow will be difficult for me...now that my body is over the shock of not having it's normal food, it may just show out. Good times at work tomorrow! :) I had the chicken and wild rice soup for lunch and a side salad. I ate my food slowly as the book suggested and drank tons of water. I think I was in the bathroom more than I was at my desk today! I had grilled chicken and green beans for dinner and a brownie for my evening snack. The brownie wasn't all that great...I had a choice, either microwave it for a minute and a half or bake it in the oven. Hmmm...who wants a microwaved brownie?? It still wasn't to die for, but it was sweet and I ate it anyway! LOL Let's see what tomorrow brings...
Ok, so Josh and I had a real heart to heart talk tonight about how I have changed over the last year or so and I think the changes came with the weight gain. I used to feel as if I could do anything I set my mind to, but lately I doubt everything I do...I question my real purpose for being here and I care way too much about how others view me. I want to please everyone and if I think I won't accomplish that then I just won't try at all. So with the weight loss, I'm hoping to gain back my self-confidence, my self-esteem, and my happiness. I have posted a few sticky notes on my bathroom mirror as a reminder to myself...one states that I will not care what others think of me, another says that I can do anything I set my mind to and the last one states that I will NOT be fat forever! I want the old Tamika back! The always smiling, fun to be around, happy-go-lucky, let everything roll off her back Tamika...is she stuffed in this pile of fat around my mid-section? If so, I'm coming for you...I will see her again, real soon! ;-)
Until next time...
Hey honey. Congrats on taking your health into your own hands. I can relate absolutely. After 2 babies, I am about as far away from my ideal body as I ever want to get. I'm making some serious changes to my diet (I've gone vegan) and activity level and am happy to join you on your journey. My entire family has pretty much every health issue resulting from diet you can have - type 2 diabetes, hypertension, high blood pressure, obesity, cancer, various problems with liver, kidneys - there was a 2 month stretch where somebody was in the hospital for some reason every couple of days... come on! I want to be the example for my peeps. I want them to look at my lifestyle and say, see, it really is possible to change your life. That's what I'm living up to. It is a shame to eat yourself into the ground, but if you follow a diet (as most do) of fast food, greasy takeout, fattening desserts and all - you will... Anyway, I will end my rambling here. I'm just saying, I'm with you sis. Let's go!
ReplyDelete~Monica
Sometimes change in our physical being takes place to enhance change in our mentality. You have taken a huge step by recognizing change needs to occur & acting on that change immediately. That's awesome! Sometimes we correlate self-esteem with appearance just out of habit. Do you think weight is the only reason that caused a change in your behavior? From the outside, you seem more peaceful and happier over the last year. Will returning to your college weight also connect you to some behaviors that you expressed while in college, or even connect you to that same mentality? I feel like this step is awesome, but also think of how much you have changed in a positive way. I just don't want you to beat yourself up about something that could have been meant to be to enhance your personality and personal growth. BTW- you have achieved a lot of goals in a year. You have a new home, new car and you got your PHR! Love you, Honey!
ReplyDeleteAnother thing to think about is- when the weight is gone, will you still be concerned with what others think of you or how they view you? That's a touchy subject for me, considering my weight challenges. I hear people mention that they have low self-esteem and can't achieve things due to appearance of weight. What about the people who are deformed or handicap, beyond their control? For some, there is no medication or surgery or therapy that can heal that. So, they have to live each day in that shell and lean on their inner being to produce positive thoughts and conquer every day challenges just like everyone else? I am a firm believer that you should live life with you inner beauty in mind 1st...the shell can always change.
ReplyDeleteI do feel there are some deeper issues there that I need to find a way to address. I really think my being unhappy about the weight and the low energy I feel by being overweight really keeps me unmotivated from doing anything better. I feel like the negative responses I receive about my weight has taken a toll on my self-esteem and I start to believe that I'm not capable of doing anything great.
ReplyDeleteI think the weight loss is a start to get that confidence back, but by no means will it fix everything...